Comments on fat juicy oyster: HELP! Spaniards Think I'm a Prostitute!

I just saw an an interesting program about Nigeria...

2011-04-10T18:37:06.199-07:00

I just saw an an interesting program about Nigerian women who work as prostitutes in Europe that made me think about this post. Here's the link: http://www.channel4.com/programmes/unreported-world/4od.

GG-- AGREED! Tumbit-- I agree with your friend th...

2011-03-07T10:56:36.309-08:00

GG-- AGREED!

Tumbit-- I agree with your friend that the UK is waaaay racist. Also think it wouldn't hurt Spanish parents to reign their children in in situations like these. Honestly, Spain is changing. The kids should know.

Rose Anne-- Hey lady! Anytime you wanna come chill with us, you let me know. We'll even have a special party just for you. No. I'M SERIOUS.

I can't tell you how happy that pic of you and...

2011-03-04T00:13:45.994-08:00

I can't tell you how happy that pic of you and your girls makes me. I don't even know you all, but it's a site I really miss.

@ Ieishah - my friend takes it all in good humor a...

2011-02-28T07:32:46.786-08:00

@ Ieishah - my friend takes it all in good humor and maintains that in our village their is just good-natured curiosity as opposed to any bad feeling. He still says that in his 7 yrs in Spain he has not encountered any racism any worse than anywhere in the UK

Doesn't matter where a gal goes, what colour s...

2011-02-25T06:56:54.801-08:00

Doesn't matter where a gal goes, what colour she is, there will always be [some] men who want to 'try a ting' with her [as we say here]. Always. Men who want to come on to a gal in as rude a way as possible.

Doesn't make sense walking around wondering what others are thinking and why. People will think what they think.

not directly related to this post, but I've be...

2011-02-24T08:01:39.587-08:00

not directly related to this post, but I've been following your blog, tumblr, twitter for a while.

You Are The Shit.

that's all.

Ieshiah I think I have an official girl crushh on ...

2011-02-22T07:36:34.815-08:00

Ieshiah I think I have an official girl crushh on you, haha/jaja! I loved your response. It's very level headed, and loaded with the wealth of experience that you've had. Excellent post.

When I've spoken of moving abroad I've gotten so many different responses. They vary from the extremley positive to the down right dumbass.
I love your series on expat dating. It def gives me a laugh everytime I read it. What's the dating scene like for women in the 35 plus range? I'm a few years into that plus, and I'd love to hear about it. I'm sure you have some friends with some knowledge and I'd love to hear about it.

Again, brava for a great job.

Duuurty South

Rems!! "The way I see it is that I am a walki...

2011-02-20T13:43:09.054-08:00

Rems!! "The way I see it is that I am a walking textbook, non blacks may have a negative perception of you and your actions either reaffirm it or changes it"

YES, Rems... YASSSS!

Tumbit, that is hilarious!!! Sad on one hand, and I'm sure, not so funny for your friend, but must look so comical. It's like a film! But I have a story somewhere on this blog of a woman who told me about seeing a black man on the metro in Barcelona for the first time as a child that was similar.

One of my Black English mates from our Village in ...

2011-02-20T13:05:14.756-08:00

One of my Black English mates from our Village in rural Spain insists that he won't leave his house for a goo dfew days before and after Three Kings. Apparently all the locla kids follow him around for hours on end chanting 'Balthazar'and begging him for chocolates & sweets. They can be odd at times, the Spanish.

Hey Udara, i had the same thinking as you before w...

2011-02-16T03:02:56.138-08:00

Hey Udara, i had the same thinking as you before when it came to travelling in Europe (which is quite ironic as I live in England), but decided to bite the bullet and travel which i am glad i have done so.
I have found that reading other people's blogs is cool but you shouldn't take it as complete gospel. I have read good, bad and terrible stuff happening to black people abroad, but it wasn't until I travelled myself that I can have a real perspective.
Your own experience is what you should go by and even if some of them are bad, to generalise to a whole country is rather dangerous. In my all but brief experience out in Spain I enjoyed it immensely though was a bit taken aback at times, and would definitely go back. That goes for France and Austria.
Another thing to take into consideration is the country's history. Just by understanding where they come from in terms of race relations can does help when it comes to travelling.
The way I see it is that I am a walking textbook, non blacks may have a negative perception of you and your actions either reaffirm their thinking or changes it.
I have a friend in Spain who is Nigerian has managed to educate her colleagues about a lot of stuff they have said and done, plus deals with the catcalls by men on the street. Ultimately she is doing things in Spain and has not let her colour been a deterrant.
@Needra, i know you live south of Spain, but I would be more than happy to put you in contact with my friend who is in Madrid
@ieishah apologies for the long comment. Love your blogs (as always)

I have to chime in and say Udara, that Ieishah is ...

2011-02-11T06:25:23.535-08:00

I have to chime in and say Udara, that Ieishah is right. Although my experience here presents its hardships (just like in America, but I'm used to a different kind or racism there), I really wouldn't change it for the world (could also have to do with my angry bf, lol).

But at the end of the day, it's your choice to make. Most days will be easy, fun, and help you grow. Others will suck, but being an expat is still a great experience.

Udara, we seem to still be speaking at cross purp...

2011-02-10T16:49:28.766-08:00

Udara, we seem to still be speaking at cross purposes. Not one African immigrant was mistreated in this post. Nedra never mentions anyone mistreating her AT ALL in her letter; only about being asked out by old men, and her boyfriend freaking out at what HE THINKS they're thinking when they do so.

I then wrote about being hit on by a man who hits on everyone. It can be difficult to be an expat, anywhere, for anyone. I've done 7 countries in the last 12 years (living, working paying rent etc), and you always need a support network. That's really what this post is about: perspective and support. Not the horrible treatment of Africans.

Just the idea that you think my post is about 'the horrible treatment of Africans' leads me to believe you only read the title or you did that thing people do when they're listening without really listening. I believe you read the post. But somehow you still ended up with a version of 'poor us'. So perhaps I was the one who was unclear.

Again, this is about expat survival. Not the horrible treatment of Africans. That's something different entirely.

2011-02-10T16:02:02.164-08:00

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I don't know, Udara... Did you read the post? ...

2011-02-10T02:59:46.883-08:00

I don't know, Udara... Did you read the post? How about My of the other pieces on the blog? Because I've never written about how horrible life is in Europe for "the black woman". Mostly, because it is not. Everywhere has it's issued, my friend was asked to leave a restaurant in India because her blackness made the patrons uncomfortable. Does she regret going on walking aroung the world, "woe is me/ I's black and pitied"? Never. She wrapped herself in a bright pink sari and walked into the Tah Mahal next day. Talking about difficulties we "may" face is not the same as letting stereotypes rule your life. But do what you like....

2011-02-09T23:34:23.551-08:00

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@ragazza: As a white American I'd say that in ...

2011-02-09T09:01:16.902-08:00

@ragazza: As a white American I'd say that in America, polite people pretend not to notice your race. If you're not used to our particular brand of racial neurosis, then I can see how someone might mistake that for not caring.

This is a thoughtful and wonderful response! And ...

2011-02-09T08:10:09.391-08:00

This is a thoughtful and wonderful response!

And I'm also thinking that I should have proof-read that email before sending it. Those errors are horrendous.

Thank you very much, and I'm curious to see what your readers have to say on the subject

Excellent response. I just had a conversation wit...

2011-02-09T07:30:26.874-08:00

Excellent response.

I just had a conversation with an young African woman in my Italian class about this subject.

She was saying in America no one cares about your race. You're an American.

That was not my experience at all.

But in Italy she hates that people always ask her where she's from or that some assume she's a prostitute because she's African.

It doesn't bother me that people ask me that question as I ask Italians all the time what city/area they're from. Many of my friends are from other parts of the country.

My white expat friends are constantly asked where they are from. I don't think it's a race thing. Most of the time it's a "you're not Italian and I'm curious to know why you would leave organized America for our crazy country" question.

It so interesting to me that even though both of us are black, our experiences here and in America were completely different.