sitges, a predominantly gay beach town south of barcelona. a conversation with my friend, derrick, black and gay.
derrick: did you see that? the whole table of men turned around to look at me. that makes me feel pretty.
me: what? you're not used to being adored?
derrick: no. in california that shit ain't happenin'.
me: why not? you're beautiful.
derrick: wrong color.
one hour later, lying on the beach, talking about boys.
derrick: no, i don't like to be fetishized.
me: what do you mean exactly? 'cause i don't mind being objectified every once in a while.
derrick: you know, like if someone keeps saying, 'i love your skin color' or 'your skin is so beautiful' . . . i don't like that.
one week later, at lunch with 2 african american women new to barcelona. they want the inside scoop on the city. especially the men.
sister 1: well, what about the italian men? they seem to really like black women. everyone seems to really like black women here.
me: i know. isn't it fun?
sister 2: well, isn't it fetishization?
me: how do you experience it? you probably have all kinds of strange men yelling guapa at you, do you feel disrespected in any way?
sister 2: no [she hesitates] . . . actually, the attention feels good. i never get this much attention in new york. men never call me 'beautiful' or approach me in the streets. i wanna move here . . .
3 comments:
If you are saying in California black men ignore black women I'd have to agree.
Black women should learn to date and marry globally I am not saying forget about black men because hopefully there are some left that still adore black women but if black women want to date, marry and have children they must look outside of the black community too.
A recent stat says 70% of black women are single. That number is too high!
I visited Barcelona 10 years or so ago...a long time ago. But the men were very receptive to our African American beauty. It was a GREAT time. I hope you are living an adventure.
wow... black people need to respect each other more... but, if you know who you are, you can go anywhere. and relationship will not stop you from your knowledge.
i am meeting all these wonderful black people in the blog world (i have just started one)... so, hello...
I'm living in the Bay Area now and your friend is right about the lack of love. The more you can see of the world, the better.
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