Sunday, May 18, 2008
i posed nude today
two weeks ago, a friend first approached me at a party saying that his boyfriend, a professional photographer, was doing some conceptual nude photos for a gallery exhibition outside of barçelona. they had 3 models but needed one more; a woman. at first, i thought, 'hell no!' then i thought again. we're always hiding or censoring something. our bodies behind the latest fashions, or skin behind make up, our feelings behind bravado, inadequacies behind job titles, our low self esteem behind sexual conquest, and our instincts behind social conventions. i took a good look at my body. at least here, i have nothing to hide. i love my body. so i said yes. posed nude for a series of black-and-white photographs in a quartet of straight hotness. breathing helped me get past my initial nerves. once i got comfortable i felt creative. sensual. beautiful and powerful. hours into the aftermath, i feel incredibly lucky to be on this journey. and the calm. i've been searching for this calm for weeks, and to think it's been underneath all of these layers the whole time. i've peeled some layers off today, and i feel lighter for it. ironically, the idea that we are not human beings having a spiritual experience, but spiritual beings having a human experience rings in my ears tonight, crystal and clear, like church bells calling the faithful to prayer.